Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Be Good To Parents


The Khutbah on Jumuah prayer last week, Sheikh Yassir Qadhi talked about
"Be Good To Parents."

After jumuah praying, all my kids came to me and said:

"I love you and please forgive me if i did something wrong."
I knew it because they listened to the khutbah.
My kids also kissed my right hand. They usually did kissing my right hand everytime after praying.

May Allah always guide us to be kind and respect to our parents. Ameen.

Dua For Our Parents (Qur'anic Supplication)

رَبَّنَا اغْفِرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيَّ وَلِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَوْمَ يَقُومُ الْحِسَابُ

"Rabbana'ghfirli wa li walidayya walil-Mu'minina yawma yaqumul-Hisab."

"Our Lord! Forgive me and my parents, and (all) the believers on the Day when the reckoning will be established."

(Al Qur'an, surah Ibrahim 14:41)


"You shall do good to your parents
and to the near of kin and to the orphans and the needy."

There is so many verses in Al Quran and Hadiths that said about Be Good To Parents.

In Al Quran:

  • Treat parents with honour & speak to them graciously & with humility

    Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour. And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: My Lord! Bestow on them thy Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood. (surat An Nahl 17:23)

  • Allah has forbidden us even to say “uff” [paraphrased as “a word of disrespect” in the translation of the meaning of the verse] to our parents.

    "But one who says to his parents, Uff to you; do you promise me that I will be brought forth (from the earth) when generations before me have already passed on (into oblivion)?" while they call to Allah for help (and their son), "Woe to you! Believe! Indeed, the promise of ALlah is truth." But he says, "This is not but legends of the former people."
    (Surah Al AhQaf 46:17)

  • Be grateful to parents but do not obey them if they strive to make you associate things with God

    ...Be grateful to Me and to both your parents; to Me is the eventual coming. But if they strive to make thee join in worship with Me things of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not; yet bear them company in this life with justice (and consideration), and follow the way of those who turn to me (in love): in the end the return of you all is to Me, then will I inform you of what you did (31:15)

    These verses make it clear that we must honour our parents regardless of whether they are Muslims or not.

  • Be good to parents and everyone else who you meet

    Serve God, and join not any partners with Him; and do good- to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, those in need, neighbours who are near, neighbours who are strangers, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (ye meet), and what your right hands possess: For God loveth not the arrogant, the vainglorious;- (4:36)

In Hadiths:

  • Disobedience to parents is a major sin

    Abu Bakr narrated that the Prophet(PBUH) asked that should he not warn them against the three major sins? All of them said, "Certainly, O Prophet!" He then said, "To ascribe partners with Allah, to disobey the parents." Getting up. As he was reclining, he said, "To tell a lie or to give false evidence." He went on repeating his words for such a long time that we wished him to be silent. (Bukhari and Muslim)

    Anas narrated from Prophet Muhammad about the major sins. He (Mohammed) observed: Associating anyone with God, disobedience to parents, killing a person and false utterance. (Muslim)

  • One of the dearest deeds to God is being good & dutiful to parents

    Narrated 'Abdullah: I asked the Prophet "Which deed is the dearest to God?" He replied, "To offer the prayers at their early stated fixed times." I asked, "What is the next (in goodness)?" He replied, "To be good and dutiful to your parents"...(Bukhari)

  • Being dutiful to parents is one of the keys to enter Paradise

    Abu Huraira reported Prophet Muhammad as saying: Let him be humbled into dust; let him be humbled into dust. It was said: God's Messenger, who is he? He said: He who sees either of his parents during their old age or he sees both of them, but he does not enter Paradise (because he has been undutiful to them). (Muslim)

  • Acts of kindness we can do for our parents after their death

    While we were with Prophet Muhammad of God . A man of Banu Salmah came to Him and said: Apostle of God is there any kindness left that I can do to my parents after their death? He replied: Yes, you can invoke blessings on them, forgiveness for them, carry out their final instructions after their death, join ties of relationship which are dependent on them, and honour their friends. (Abu Dawood)

  • The High Status given to Mothers

    A man came to the Prophet and asked him for permission to join a military expedition. The Prophet asked him if he had a mother, and when he replied that he had, he said, "Stay with her, for Paradise is at her feet." (Ahmad)

The Virtue of The Forgiveness of Mother

Once, when the Prophet(PBUH) was talking to his companions a man came and addressed him, "O Messenger of Allah ! A young man is breathing his last. People are asking him to recite Shahadah but he is unable to do so." The Prophet(PBUH) asked, "Did this man offer salah (during his life)?" The answer was yes. Then he accompanied the man to the house of the dying young man along with others present at the time. The man was at the end of his life's journey. The Messenger of Allah advised him to offer the Shahadah. The m an replied that he was unable to do so as the words would not come out of his mouth. He (PBUH) then called for the mother of the dying man whom he had disobeyed persistently. When his aged mother approached the scene, the Prophet (PBUH) asked, 'Respected lady, is he your son?" She replied yes. He then asked her a question, "O respected lady, if we threaten to throw your son into a raging fire, would you recommend him to be forgiven?" The lady replied that she would definitely do so at that time. The Prophet(PBUH) then said to her, "If so, declare, making Allah and me your witnesses, that you are mow pleased with him." The old woman readily declared, "O Allah, you and your Messenger be my witness that I am pleased with this beloved son of mine."

Just after that, the Prophet (PBUH) turned to the dying man and asked him to recite, "There is no god but Allah, He is the One and has no partners and I witness that Muhammad is His Servant and Messenger." By the virtue of the forgiveness of his mother, he found the words flowing out of his mouth and he recited the Shahadah. Seeing this, the Prophet (PBUH) praised Almighty Allah and thanked Him saying, "Thanks to Almighty Allah that He saved this man from the fearful fire of Hell through me." (Tabarani and Ahmad).

Manners To Our Parents

Al-Bukhari and Muslim reported that a man asked the Prophet (pbuh): Oh Messenger of Allah, who is the most worthy of my best conduct?' He answered: 'Your mother! Your mother! Your mother! Then your father, then the next, and the next.'

Al-Bukhari in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad and Abdul Razzaq in his Musanaf (the wording is his) reported that Hisham bin 'Urwa recounted that his father told him that Abu Hurairah (r) saw a man walking ahead of another. He asked him: 'How is this man related to you?' 'He is my Father,' the man answered.
Abu Hurairah told him: 'Do not walk ahead of him, do not sit until he sits, and do not call him by his name.'

Kindness to the parents is an obligatory. Kindness means to be humble with them, to speak to them nicely, to look at them with love and respect, to speak in a mild tone that does not surpass theirs unless they are hard of hearing, to give them complete access to your own wealth, and to offer them the best of your food and drink. Children should also wholeheartedly avoid making angry their parents and should seek their pleasure as much as possible.

Making your parent's life enjoyable is one of the most virtuous acts. Children must hasten to respond to their parents' call. If a child is praying voluntarily, he/she should shorten the prayer and respond promptly.

Teaching Kids Good Manners

The Prophet [Peace Be Upon Him ] said: "Believers who have the most perfect Iman (faith) are those who have the best manners."

We as parents have to teach our kids about good manners and good habits at home.

If we want our kids to be nice to us when we are old, we should :

  • Be nice and respect to our own parents in the front of our kids.

  • Teach the kids to be respectful and dutiful to parents.

  • Teach the kids to maintain good relations with our relatives.

  • Teach the kids to love the believers.

  • Teach the kids to say good words to remember Allah.

  • Teach the kids no lying, no backbiting, and no slandering.
Our Duties To Parents Who Passed Away

A man came to the Prophet and asked; “Oh! Messenger of Allah, now that my parents are dead, is there any act of dutifulness left for me to do towards them?”
The Prophet answered; “Yes.
There are four things;

  • Supplication for them.

  • praying that they are forgiven.

  • fulfilment of their wills.

  • being kind to their friends and maintaining good relations with those of your relatives with whom your kinship is established only through them.”
(Related by Abu Dawood, Ibn Majah and others).

You can give charity on their behalf and perform Hajj on their behalf, or asking someone to do so if they are not perform Hajj yet.


If we are being good to parents, the gate in paradise is open wide. This is only when our parents are still alive.

The summary is that we should:

  • serve our parents,

  • be nice and dutilful to them,

  • love and kind to them,

  • respect and honour them,

  • show kindness to them,

  • obedience to them,

  • help them financially,

  • make them happy,

  • talk nicely,

  • listen to them,

  • give charity on behalf on them,

  • and be nice to their friends.

We have to remember also that disrespectfully to parents is actually one of the major sins.

May Allah help us to be respectful children to our parents. Ameen. Ameen. Ameen.


Activities And Worksheets For Kids

  • Memorize the Qur'anic supplication:

    رَبَّنَا اغْفِرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيَّ وَلِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَوْمَ يَقُومُ الْحِسَابُ

    Rabbana'ghfirli wa li walidayya walil-Mu'minina yawma yaqumul-Hisab."

    "Our Lord! Forgive me and my parents, and (all) the believers on the Day when the reckoning will be established." (Al Qur'an, surah Ibrahim 14:41)

  • Write this Qur'anic supplication 10 times in Arabic.

  • Write your own short story about "Be Good To Parents" on this Blank Page.
    The blank lines in the pages are just text and can be erased and typed over or added by typing the underscore key. When you finish typing the story then you can print it out.

  • Read books about good manners to parents.

  • Listen to Islamic lecture or khutbah

  • Make Words Search or Puzzle about Good Words to remember about Allah.

    The links that you can use:

  • Make tissue flower for your mother.

  • Make Paper Family Tree

To watch videos